Mind Over Matter
by LoveThatXander
Summary: Someone put a spell on Xander…


Mind Over Matter  
  
by LoveThatXander  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot, everything else belongs to Joss Spoilers: Up to and including 'Doublemeat Palace'  
  
Summary: Someone put a spell on Xander…  
  
Rating: PG-13 (mild sexual encounter)  
  
Pairing: Buffy/Xander of course!  
  
Feedback: I appreciate constructive criticism and I just adore shameless flattery!  
  
Author's Note: // means inner thoughts  
  
  
  
Xander slammed the door and stepped into the night. As he angrily walked away from his apartment and fiancee, he headed for the Bronze. He figured it would be appropriate to drown his sorrows, considering he'd been feeling like a drowning man himself ever since he'd gotten engaged to Anya. Why did he do it in the first place, he suddenly wondered. What had possessed him to pop the question? Because he loved her, he responded. Well…more like 'lusted after her', he corrected himself. Cared…he definitely *cared* for her. Or at the very least, he felt affection for her. He sighed heavily.  
  
It drove him crazy the way she'd constantly embarrass him in front of his friends. And when it came to making a fool of himself, Xander Harris didn't need anyone's help. He did just fine on his own, thank you very much!  
  
Xander had stopped counting the number of times Anya had matter-of-factly disclosed highly personal information about them. He suddenly remembered one afternoon when she'd described their orgasms to the Gang. He groaned as he briefly relived the agonizing moment. And that's when he was *in* the room; God knows what else she'd told Buffy and Willow in his absence. He sighed again. His pace increased to the point where he was almost jogging towards the much-needed alcohol.  
  
Boy oh boy, he sure could pick em, he thought. Xander mentally reviewed the highlights of his disastrous dating history and shuddered: crush on a praying mantis trying to eat him, date with an Inca mummy princess trying to suck the life out of him (and not in a good way), going steady with Cordelia Chase (no further explanation needed), then losing Cordelia after kissing Willow, losing his virginity with Faith who later tried to strangle him, and, last but not least, asking a greedy, pushy ex-vengeance demon to marry him. He purposely omitted any mention of Buffy, choosing instead to leave her in his 'pending' file. Cause you never know, he reasoned, knowing full well she would never allow anything to happen between them.  
  
He'd really tried to make his relationship with Anya work but the bottom had fallen out when he had summoned the Musical Demon to ensure a happy ending for them. Instead, they ended up singing about how they promised to never openly discuss each other's annoying habits. Great. Denial, resentment and lack of communication. And they weren't even married yet.  
  
He turned the corner into the alley leading to the Bronze entrance. As he crossed the threshold, he stopped dead in his tracks. Buffy and Willow were sitting at a table, talking and laughing. He hesitated for a moment and then quickly left before they noticed him. His pride forbade him to show his two best friends this pathetic side of him. He wondered where he could have a drink or ten without running into someone he knew. And all at once, it came to him: Willie's Bar. He set out for his new destination.  
  
  
  
-A few hours later-  
  
"Gimme 'nother one, Willie", Xander drunkenly ordered the barman.  
  
The purple-faced demon emitted a low growl and showed pointy teeth. "I keep telling you: I'm not Willie. He's off tonight".  
  
"Well, whoever you are, I want 'nother one", he replied as he rested his head on the bar.  
  
"I think you've had enough, Human. Got a death wish or something?"  
  
Xander lifted his head and looked the creature straight in the eyes.  
  
"I just broke up with my ex-vengeance-demon fiancee. As we speak, she's probably devising ways to pay me back for eternity with her vengeance-demon friends and family. What do *you* think?"  
  
The barman's eyes went wide.  
  
"Here, buddy. This one's on me". He poured him a drink and disappeared into a backroom, far away from the moving target.  
  
Xander downed his drink and buried his head in his hands. A female figure sat next to him and attempted to get a good look at his face.  
  
"Xander?"  
  
He slowly turned his head and recognized the young woman through the haze.  
  
"Hi Amy. Whatcha doin' in this dive?"  
  
She simultaneously smiled and frowned.  
  
"I could ask you the same thing. I didn't think you were one for getting drunk alone".  
  
"I'll give you three guesses why I'm…"  
  
"Woman trouble?" she interrupted. At his surprised look, she cocked her head to one side. "Looks like I'm right".  
  
"Bulls-eye. Give the lady a cigar". He sighed. "Why does love always have to hurt?"  
  
Amy felt genuine sadness at seeing such a nice guy in this state. "Wish I had a simple answer for you".  
  
"I want 'nother drink. Where's Willie?"  
  
While Xander leaned over the counter to see if the proprietor of the establishment had, for some unknown reason, shrunk to a height shorter than the bar, Amy scanned the room and counted at least six unsavoury characters staring at her drunken friend. She quickly surmised that they were waiting until he passed out to mug him. Or worse, feast on him.  
  
"I think you should go home, Xander. It's not safe for you here".  
  
"What about you? You're not safe either", he countered, feeling a sudden surge of protective manliness.  
  
She smirked in self-satisfaction. "I'm a witch, remember?" An idea suddenly popped into her head. "Hey, do you still have a thing for Buffy Summers?"  
  
The question prompted him to close his eyes and smile. "She's not the kind of girl you forget". He rested his head on the bar again.  
  
Amy stretched out her finger and a bright, yellow light momentarily covered him. "There you go, Xander, enjoy. Things'll be better tomorrow. Now let's get you home".  
  
His response was a barely audible 'hmm' and then he passed out. She touched his shoulder with her palm and he disappeared, much to the disappointment of the ill-willed patrons. Xander instantly appeared in his empty bed, safe and sound.  
  
  
  
-The next day-  
  
Willow walked into the Summers home and joined her roommates in the living room.  
  
"Hey guys, you want to hear something weird?" the redhead asked, concern written over her features.  
  
"When are things *not* weird in Sunnydale", Dawn commented.  
  
"I swung by the Magic Box and it was closed…on a Saturday".  
  
"What? Why would Anya close the shop? She always says that Saturday's the most profitable day of the week", Buffy replied. "Well, what she actually says is "I do the K'ching K'ching Dance most often on Saturdays", Buffy corrected herself, smirking.  
  
"Maybe she's taking the day off", the teenager suggested.  
  
"Anya doesn't take time off", Willow responded gently. "Not when there's money to be made".  
  
"I don't like this. We'd better go check it out", the Slayer decided.  
  
  
  
-Meanwhile-  
  
Deep in thought, Xander was standing outside the Magic Box, the shop that had become Anya's passion.  
  
Despite his hangover, he had managed to drag himself out of bed and eat something. He'd discovered The Letter when he was about to take a shower. Anyone else would have stuck it to the fridge or left it on the night table, he had reasoned. Only Anya would have thought to pin it to the shower curtain. Funny how he used to find little, odd things like that charming. But upon reading the note, his nostalgic bittersweet moment had quickly faded away. She had gone back to her family in another dimension. He had been greatly relieved but it had hurt nonetheless to see it in black and white. He had taken a shower, grabbed the keys and walked over to the Magic Box.  
  
Now that he'd been standing there for a few, long minutes, he finally decided to go in. As he was unlocking the front door, he heard a familiar voice behind him.  
  
"Oh good. Xander! We were worried there for a second", Buffy said.  
  
"Yeah, the shop was closed this morning so Buffy and Willow wigged out as usual, but I knew everything was ok", Dawn explained, assuming a 'wiser than thou' attitude.  
  
They entered the store and sat at the round table. Willow noticed Xander's odd, quiet behaviour.  
  
"Something *has* happened", she said, frowning. "Xander…where's Anya?"  
  
"We called the wedding off. She's gone", he answered, emotionless. He didn't want to cry in front of them and the best way to prevent an outpouring of emotion was to avoid displaying any degree of hurt and pain.  
  
The three females were stunned. Willow leaned over the table and held his hand. Dawn left her seat and hugged his neck from behind. Although he was moved by their comforting gestures, he couldn't help but stare across the table at Buffy, whose mouth was still hanging open from the bombshell he had just dropped on them.  
  
//God, I wish I could hold Buffy in my arms.//  
  
And suddenly, he was. Dawn and Willow had been forced back in their respective chairs while Buffy straddled Xander's lap, hugging him.  
  
"Jeez, Buffy, can't stand to wait your turn like a normal person?" Dawn criticized. "It's no fair using your Slayer strength to get us out of your way!"  
  
"But…I didn't…how…how did I get here?" she managed to ask Xander.  
  
Although Xander was as surprised as his friends were, he was thoroughly enjoying holding Buffy in his arms. He couldn't believe he was finally allowed to do what he'd longed to do for years: touch her soft skin, smell her hair, surround her small frame with his arms, feel her heart beating next to his chest. Was it his imagination or was her heart pounding faster and faster by the second? She leapt up and out of the intimate position.  
  
"Ok, that was a little too weird for my taste" Buffy blurted out.  
  
He quietly stared at his empty lap, wondering how many more blows to his pride he would have to endure that day. Although Willow was also struggling to understand what had just happened, his reaction was not lost on her.  
  
"Xander, why don't you go home and rest. I'll keep an eye on the store today", she suggested.  
  
"Thanks for the offer, Will, but I can't go back to the apartment yet. I'm thinking of moving out, actually." He exhaled loudly. "Too many memories, you know?"  
  
"Yeah, I know exactly what you mean" she unhappily agreed. The first few nights after Tara had left, she had found it next to impossible to sleep alone in the bed they once shared.  
  
"Hey, why don't you stay at our house for a while", Dawn offered.  
  
He looked questioningly at her older sister.  
  
"We'd love to have you, Xand" was Buffy's sincere reply.  
  
For the first time that day, the ghost of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.  
  
  
  
-Later that evening-  
  
"You know, you're our guest tonight. You really don't have to do this" Buffy reiterated as she added dirty glasses to the soapy water.  
  
"I know", Xander responded, drying a plate, "but I always like to pitch in. Besides, I may not have Slayer-strength, but I can actually *reach* the top cupboards", he added teasingly.  
  
"Alright, alright. You've poked enough fun at my height for one evening", she retorted, enjoying the good-natured ribbing.  
  
He couldn't remember the last time he'd spent quality alone time like this with Buffy. Dawn's voice interrupted his thoughts.  
  
"Buffy, Xander, you've got to come see this!", the teen called from the living room.  
  
They left the kitchen and joined her and Willow in front of the TV set.  
  
"I don't know what this is, but it's hilarious", Dawn managed to say, wiping her teary eyes.  
  
"It's Beach Blanket Bingo", Willow explained, chuckling. "One of those campy beach movies from the 50s".  
  
"Hey, this *is* funny", Buffy agreed. "Check out the hairstyles…poofy much?!"  
  
Xander, however, was not paying attention to the 'groovy beach action'; he instead was enjoying watching the blonde laugh. Boy, what he'd give to see Buffy in a bathing suit, he thought. A sudden high-pitched shriek snapped him out of his daydreaming. He was shocked by what he saw: standing there, in all her glory, was Buffy in a very revealing bikini.  
  
"What the hell is happening around here?!" Buffy demanded after a moment, covering herself with a pillow cushion as best she could. "This is the second time today that something weird has happened to me".  
  
"It must be Jonathan, Warren and that third guy. Buffy, they must be behind all of this", Willow said.  
  
"I think you're right. Only those three losers would be losery enough to pull a stunt like this. We've got to put a stop to this. Xander…"  
  
He jumped at the mention of his name. He hoped no one would notice how hard he was concentrating to keep a certain appendage down.  
  
"…you go to the Magic Box with Willow and start doing some research. I'm getting changed and then I'm going out to kick some serious evil nerd ass!"  
  
  
  
-Later that night-  
  
"You know Will, I'd like to kick their asses myself for what they did to Buffy", Xander said as he put down his fourth book.  
  
"Yeah, I'm sure you'll be scarred for life, seeing her in a bikini like that", she replied arching her eyebrow and smiling.  
  
Willow always managed to see right through him, he realised.  
  
"I'll take the 5th on that one", he sheepishly replied.  
  
Buffy sullenly walked in and joined them at the round table.  
  
"Any luck?", Willow asked.  
  
"I think Lady Luck hates me right now", the Slayer half-jokingly responded. "They're nowhere to be found".  
  
"I have an idea where they might have gone to", Xander exclaimed as he suddenly remembered a full page add in the paper. "There's a big Star Trek convention in L.A. right now. It started at noon on Friday with a special appearance by *7 of 9*, and then Deanna Troy was scheduled to appear on Saturday…" He paused as he noticed they were staring at him. "What? Surprised that I can contribute?"  
  
"No, you're drooling", Willow replied.  
  
He quickly wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "Oh…I've been meaning to have that checked out", he explained, embarrassed.  
  
The two women rolled their eyes.  
  
"I think Xander might be right about Warren & company going to L.A.", Willow said after a moment.  
  
"But if they're busy out of town, who else would be pulling these crazy stunts?"  
  
The redhead began fiddling with her pencil nervously. Buffy frowned.  
  
"Will? Is there something you want to tell me? Did you do another spell?"  
  
The blood completely drained from the witch's face. "No! I didn't! You have to believe me Buffy!"  
  
Xander soothingly intervened. "It's ok Will. Nobody's accusing you of anything. Just tell us what's on your mind".  
  
She hesitated for a minute and shot guilty glances at him. "Well…I don't want to hurt you, Xander, but…have you considered that this might be Anya's doing? I mean…she *is* an ex-vengeance demon. She could have asked a…" (her face screwed up in search of the appropriate word) "…colleague…to do it."  
  
He considered the situation and slowly responded. "No, I don't think she's in on this".  
  
"Besides", Buffy interjected, "why would she be doing this to *me*? What have I done to her? It's not like Xander broke their engagement to marry me!"  
  
// I wish that *were* the reason. //  
  
He suddenly found himself dressed in a tuxedo. He looked up and was blown away by the sight of Buffy in a white wedding gown, failing to notice Willow in a lovely plum-coloured dress and wearing her hair up. They were startled by the jingling of a bell as Dawn walked into the store.  
  
"What's going on, guys?" the teen asked, flabbergasted. "Buffy…are you getting married…to Xander? Hey! How come *Willow* gets to be your maid of honour?" she whined.  
  
Exasperated by her sister's ill-timed bratty behaviour, Buffy rested her forehead in her left palm. She felt the coolness of the gold band against her temple and slowly allowed herself to stare at it, appreciating its beauty. She was interrupted by Xander's gentle voice.  
  
"You look amazing", he simply stated.  
  
She smiled as she was impressed by his dashing appearance. The last time she'd seen him in a tux was Prom Night, a few lifetimes ago. He was cute then, but what a man he'd become! She suddenly shook her head, willing herself to return to the problem at hand.  
  
"Ok, we've got some serious thinking to do", she almost barked.  
  
"And you'd better do it fast, before you get to your honeymoon night", Dawn added.  
  
Buffy's clothing instantly changed from her long, flowing dress to a white, satin negligee while Xander sported a sexy pair of black boxer-briefs. With a sigh of relief, Willow realised she was back in her casual clothes. For the third time that day, the Slayer shrieked and attempted to cover herself. This time, however, Xander did not remain calm, cool or collected and he ran around the counter and hid behind the cash register. Though initially shocked, both Dawn and Willow burst out laughing.  
  
"And my day just *keeps* on getting better", Xander announced sarcastically. "Two girls start laughing hysterically because I'm naked. Gee, if this wasn't my absolute *worst* nightmare come true, I'd be laughing too", he finished, wild-eyed.  
  
Willow suddenly remembered when the gang was forced to live their nightmares a few years before, and how Xander had endured this same humiliation in front of their class. A wave of sympathy replaced her giggles and she sprung into action.  
  
"It's not you, Xander. It's just…both your reactions were so funny. But we're focused now", she said, putting on her Serious Willow face. "We're going to fix this just like we always do".  
  
Xander slowly calmed down until he noticed Buffy's apparel again. He willed himself to look away.  
  
"Ok, this is what we're going to do. Buffy, why don't you go to the training room and change into your workout clothes. Xander, you might find some clothes Giles left behind. Dawn and I are going to start researching again."  
  
Dawn was beaming, happy to be allowed to help. And as a bonus, Buffy was too busy to object.  
  
Xander and Buffy awkwardly looked at each other for a moment. "Ladies first, Buff. I'll wait here", he offered.  
  
"No, you're more naked than I am. You go first", she replied.  
  
The front door suddenly opened and, as a potential customer came in, they both ran to the training room and shut the door. Buffy headed directly to one corner of the room and picked up her neatly folded gym clothes. "I'm gonna get changed, ok?"  
  
Xander nodded and turned to face the door. As he heard the sound of silk dropping to the floor, he rested his forehead on the door and closed his eyes. As she changed, Buffy allowed herself to stare at him. She'd seen Xander in a bathing suit years before and she remembered being nicely surprised at what she'd seen. But now, oh God, what a body he had! And she found it so charming that he was modest whereas most guys would brag about it. But what had always truly impressed her was Xander's unwavering devotion to his friends…and to her.  
  
"I'm done. I'll let you do your thing." She left the room and he sighed in relief. He changed into Giles' training clothes and joined his friends at the table. Willow was talking while Dawn took notes.  
  
"First, only Buffy was affected. Then it was Buffy, Xander and me. It doesn't seem dangerous, just embarrassing."  
  
"No kidding", he added.  
  
"But why is it happening in the first place? What's the reason behind it?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Hey! I just realised something!" Willow exclaimed.  
  
"Well, lay it on us cause I'm at a complete loss!" Xander replied.  
  
"The three of us changed into wedding clothes when Buffy said something like 'It's not like Xander asked her to marry him'!" Maybe the opposite of whatever Buffy says comes true?"  
  
"There's only one way to find out", the Slayer responded. She thought for a moment, careful not to worsen the situation. "It's not like new clothes will appear on the counter to replace the ones that disapeared off my body." They waited but nothing happened. "I loved that outfit", she pouted.  
  
"Wait a minute, that couldn't have been it anyway", Dawn said, frowning. "Buffy didn't say anything that would put her in a bikini or throw her into Xander's arms. In fact, when she changed into the silky number, *I'm* the one that mentioned the honeymoon!"  
  
"That's right. You're really good at this, Dawnie." They smiled at each other.  
  
"So…what? Whatever any of us suggest will happen?" Xander asked.  
  
"My turn to try it out! I wish we were at DisneyWorld right now!" the young girl eagerly blurted out. Once again, nothing happened.  
  
"Dawn, in Sunnydale, you have to be careful with sentences like 'I wish'!", Buffy gently chided.  
  
"Don't worry, Buffy, one of *my* wish would never come true anyway", she retorted in self-pity.  
  
"Well, that wasn't it either" Willow said, frowning. "All we know is that this is about you, Buffy. Xander and I were only affected in relation to you".  
  
They remained silent until Willow spoke again.  
  
"Wait-a-minute! We're looking at this the wrong way!" Willow exclaimed. "Who wouldn't mind seeing Buffy in a bathing suit? And who needed to be comforted by her yesterday?"  
  
They all stared at Xander in shock. "What??? Hey, I don't know what you're implying…no, in fact, I know *exactly* what you're implying and…and…I'm really offended." He turned to his would-be victim and panicked at the thought that she might believe it. "Buffy, you can't seriously think I'd do *anything* to hurt you! You *know* I'd never do anything like this to you. I mean, God, I don't want to hurt you, I *love* you!"  
  
As soon as the L-word slipped out, it seemed like it bounced around the room as if they were in a cavern. But, regardless of how embarrassed he felt, somehow, he didn't regret having said it. He glanced over at Buffy and she was still looking at him. Her face conveyed a mix of acceptance and confusion.  
  
"Xander, I'd never think that you'd do any of this on purpose" Willow explained apologetically. "I know you too well for that. You're a good guy. The best." He accepted her apology with a weak smile.  
  
"But how does Xander have the power to do it?" Dawn asked.  
  
"We still have to figure that out", Willow answered.  
  
"Amy! I ran into Amy at Willie's last night" Xander exclaimed.  
  
"What were you doing there?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I kinda felt like drinking my troubles away…not my proudest moment. I remember that I told her I was having relationship problems and then she asked me if I still…well…she mentioned you, Buff. And then, I woke up in my bed the next day."  
  
"That's it. Amy's behind it" Willow concluded. "Believe me, I know all about Amy's warped notion of helping people."  
  
"So she put a spell on Xander. To accomplish what, exactly?" Buffy wondered.  
  
"To get my mind off my problems with cheap thrills at your expense" Xander said, humiliated and ashamed.  
  
Buffy reached out and put her hand on his arm. "Xand, *none* of this is your fault. You don't have anything to feel bad about, okay?" He willed himself to look at her and nod.  
  
"I know which spell to look for, now" Willow said. "Xander, as soon as I find it, I'll revoke it and put a protective spell on you. Dawn, I'll need your help. Buffy, if you can find Amy and bring her here, I can put a spell on her to suspend her powers for a while".  
  
"I'm on my way", the Slayer responded. She walked towards the front door and, just as it closed behind her, Dawn spoke to Xander.  
  
"You know, considering you always call her Buff, it's a good thing you never thought of her in the buff".  
  
Xander's eyes went wide and a second later, they all heard Buffy screaming from outside. Xander hung his head in his hands, Willow ran towards the door with an old raincoat and Dawn mouthed "Oops".  
  
  
  
-The next day-  
  
As Willow was walking towards her room, she noticed Buffy sitting on her own bed, staring into nothingness. Concerned, she knocked on the open door, which startled Buffy out of her trance.  
  
"Oh sorry. Didn't mean to make you jump. You seemed kind of lost thought."  
  
"Will, have you ever been really confused by something that you thought was wrong for the longest time and now it seems like it's so right that you can't see yourself without it?"  
  
Willow smiled sadly. "You're talking to someone who fell in love with another woman, remember? Sure, it confused me at first but, when I followed my heart, everything fell into place". She lost her smile. "Except that now I have to try and live without her".  
  
"She'll be back, Will. You two are meant to be together".  
  
"Here's hoping!" she said, trying to lighten the mood. "I assume you're confused about Xander".  
  
Buffy sighed.  
  
"You've seen him in a new light and you like what you see."  
  
"That's a pretty good way of saying it. They should put that in fortune cookie".  
  
"All I can tell you is don't waste a chance at happiness. They don't come our way very often. But Buffy, if you're not sure, be careful you don't hurt him. Xander's had his heart broken too often."  
  
  
  
-Two days later-  
  
Xander heard a knock at the front door of his apartment. He got up to open it and was mildly surprised to find Buffy on the other side.  
  
"Hey Buff!"  
  
"Look! I don't get naked anymore when you say that", she said humorously.  
  
"Yes, I see that. A vast improvement for you. Not necessarily for the rest of *us*, though".  
  
She laughed as they sat on his living room couch.  
  
"I'm glad this whole business is settled. Amy must have been really mad when you dragged her to the Magic Box, though".  
  
"Oh, believe me, she's *not* a happy camper", she replied. "But I'm more interested in finding out how *you're* doing…without Anya".  
  
He sighed heavily. "It hurts. Not original, I grant you, but it's as simple as that. Sometimes, I wonder if the pain will ever go away completely".  
  
"It will, Xand. I never thought I'd get over Angel but I did. I take comfort in the fact that we weren't meant to be together and that we're better off alone than making each other unhappy".  
  
He looked at her with renewed admiration. Was there nothing this woman couldn't get through?  
  
"I know that…you have a lot to…figure out and…work through and I respect that", she said, suddenly staring at her lap.  
  
He wondered what she was getting at and why she seemed nervous.  
  
"And I know that you'll need time…and space…and I respect that too. But, I was wondering if…at some point…you might want to…" she sighed heavily, frustrated with her inability to express herself.  
  
She looked at him with longing, rested her hand on his neck and gently guided him towards her as she leaned in to kiss him. He responded with contained passion, afraid to awaken from the dream. While still kissing, he gently lifted her up, sat her on his lap and surrounded her with his arms. It felt so incredibly right that she wondered if she would ever be able to tear herself away from him. His kisses wandered from her lips to her neck and she moaned his name in his ear. He began shaking with desire.  
  
"Oh Buffy", he said in a hoarse whisper. "I love you. I've always loved you. Let me show you".  
  
She responded by unbuttoning his shirt while still kissing his neck. He lifted her up in his arms and carried her to his bed, where he dropped her gently and lay down with her. They slowly removed each other's clothing, revelling in the sensation each time another part of their body made contact with bare skin for the first time. Buffy was surprised by his gentle yet confident touch. It was apparent that, however modest, shy and unsure Xander could be in other situations, he was a self-assured lover.  
  
They made love through the night and slept most of the following morning. When she woke up, she could smell and hear breakfast being prepared. She slipped into his large terry-cloth bathrobe and slowly walked out toward him.  
  
"Hey, she's alive!" he cheered, his hair still wet from the shower he'd just taken. "And looking as fetching as ever".  
  
"Yeah right, they say bed head is all the rage", she replied as she dropped herself onto a chair.  
  
He put her steaming plate in front of her, brushed her hair off her neck and kissed her on the nape. "I've never had a meal with a more beautiful woman".  
  
"I think the spell blinded you", she laughed. He joined her at the table with his own plate and they began eating. "This is really thoughtful, Xand. I've never had a guy cook for me before".  
  
"Well, I'm no gourmet chef, but you can expect it on a regular basis. If you want to be in a relationship with me, that is". He'd said the last part somewhat nervously.  
  
"I wanted to talk to you about that. I…I don't want to hurt you. In the long run…I don't know if I could make you happy".  
  
"If you could make me happy? Sweetie, is that what you're worried about?" He almost laughed and walked around the table to crouch in front of her. "Buffy, if you're not sure whether or not you love me, that's something you need to figure out and I'll accept whatever you decide. But I am *telling* you that you would make me the happiest guy alive if you did decide to be with me. I've known you for a long time; I've fought by your side; I know all about your Slayer duties, responsibilities and the impossible choices you often have to make because of them; I've seen your dark side; I've seen you sacrifice for the people you love; I've seen you lose people you love; I've mourned you; I don't know what I've ever done to deserved it but you were brought back to me. I've seen it all, Buffy, and I love all of it; all of you."  
  
She was stunned to silence for what seemed like an eternity. Her mind was reeling with fears and concerns when she suddenly realised that an incredible man had just professed his love for her. An incredible man she was in love with.  
  
"Just promise me that we'll take it slow", she simply said.  
  
He brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed it. "It's a deal". 


End file.
